Hey my dear friend!
I’m pretty happy to be back writing on this blog once again!:D
Firstly, its because it finally has another post!
Secondly, im glad that no one visits this anymore, cos this post will be a little different than what i usually post :o
Thirdly, I hope even if anyone comes to read this, nobody judges me. Well it’s a sad thing that people judge each other. Why do people have to have this ability? I mean, its bad when it comes to situations like this. But oh well. That’s life. (eeyur and why when I say something this neutral it sounds so emo!o.o)

:D
I put this smiley face because im not angry anymore! Or sad! :D and its ME:D oops I just read ants sms and I uncontrollably got emotional again. TSK. STOPIT RETARDED RACHEL.ITS NOT LIKE YOU!!! (okay words on the screen are now getting blurry and wet)

Okay here’s another one of my beautiful days again.
I was so happy this morning, and my mood was so nice! Rare nowadays, but today I was so happy I smiled at everyone I saw. I was happy to see anybody! basic description of today hahaha

Today I finally brought weiqi to share with my friends the joy I feel while I played weiqi. It has been 5 years since I played with jeslyn low (ohman I really want to play with her again its so fun) and I felt beyond happy when I touched the set once again.

Was so happy ants was excited to see the set, and marie too!

My leg was beyond pain because of stupid napfa yesterday tsk (2 more seconds to A!! D: )
but the pain didn’t matter. All I kept saying is I AM HAPPY. Sorry if im boring u out with repeating words. HAPPY! Really!:D i dont know why today so high in the morning, must have grwon 10cm taller maybe?haha k lame

recess was FUN!:D omg we made a failed telephone parody but nevertheless I LOVED IT! Will be putting it up on facebook heehee ;D

at the end of school, we played weiqi! HAPPY once again that people were interested in it. How long has it been that I played with friends! 5 years before, I had fun. Now I could play again. DOUBLY HAPPY!

[This is when the meaningfully beautiful day starts]
Tried to let others see how cool weiqi could be!
I once thought weiqi was boring too, until I played and loved it from the bottom of my heart.
I saw how marie had the potential but needed more advice in her technique. WELL I guess I shouldn’t have been too overly excited. Could have played it as if I have never played weiqi before and not make any comments. Marie I hope u don’t take it to heart yeah haha:D

Was excited that xueyan could play well too! Wanted to play with her, but I really wanted to let others try like ants, yt, ee.
I was happy to play patiently with them! And hope that soon they will play well too so we could have an exciting match like hikaru no go!!

I guess I set my hopes too high!
Shouldn’t have done that Rachel! aiya i think tdy i made mistakes D: like alot. stupid stupid rachel.

Then I left w lw to go pay money for class peektures! Came back up and played one round of bridge w cn sb lw!
Ants left so I asked yt and ee if they wanted to continue!
I could see that they were really trying to find a way out and wanted to play some more!
I wanted to have a more “threatening match” though I didn’t like the feeling of me keep on winning because its boring i wanted to like lose, and i didnt want to let someone win purposely bcos that defeats weiqi's purpose, defeats the purpose of a good game.

Didn’t want yt and ee to feel like so down anymore, could see they were trying really hard and I was thinking of doing a new game like start anew, and being more relaxed and not play so seriously so that they may feel happy while playing.
But I had to go home soon.
So I continued on ants game. It felt like nothing. It was kind of meaningless. I didn’t really want to play anymore. Wanted to end this as quickly as possible without making others feel bad for too long. (now that I look back I shouldn’t even I have continued, would have been better. How stupid.)
So far, it sounds like I saying that im very good at weiqi or something. Nope. please dont think im like a snob because i dont think i am? HAHAHA. I really only wanted challenge. But because im who I am, I like to be nice to others too. So it was kind of conflicting. hmmm. Makes sense? Aiyah! u just a computer u don’t need understand la haha!

but here's my mistake. somehow I didn’t realise how deeply the scores on the board affected her. How she wanted to have at least some happiness out of achieving something. Couldn’t someone from UP THERE have pointed it out to me? Or at least beside me? Or even BELOWme? Like, HADES?!, im dying soon and I’ll be accompanying you down there couldn’t u have helped me a lil?!

She was someone I really liked a lot. And she did something that nobody has ever done to me before. No one. And I realised how much I hated that being done to me. She did something that I hated the most for being done on me, and furthermore, I looked up to her and I liked her so much!! here's what i was thinking! listen carefully, because it might sound confusing or falsely demeaning, but its not!!!:D
I don’t hate her.
I don’t dislike her.
She’s still my friend.
I think I just cant accept what she did.
But I still accept her.
I still like her.
But I don’t like what she did.
But don’t worry!

After today I will forget whatever that has happened. Like it never happened before. It’ll be another beautiful day again!
Why I say today was still a beautiful day, was because:
I learnt a lot from it! I learnt more and each day something hurts me, I grow stronger. This sounds cool B-)

And she’ll still be my good friend :D

I REALISED: why I had been so upset was bcos: OMGOMG, IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME!
Im a weak person when it comes to stuff like that. I love friends, and I love them for being fun and all, and i think its stupid and childish and self-centered i i dont forgive and forget and not be friends anymore, because i love my friends!:D

AND,
Bcos I can understand how they feel:) I reali think of myself as that friend and I will think to myself: “hey, I understand Im not in the wrong. She’s not either! We just happened to have released our hands and tripped for a moment”

“so lets hold hands again:D”

And after that incident, lw actually agreed w me to go down to the busstop tgt. She went to the humans dept first and we agreed to meet there.
I was comforted as I would not be lonely and think of sad things.
And I could walk and talk with someone and be HAPPY again :D
But suddenly, my phone beeped.
“im at the busstop already.”
Called her, and network was busy.
Was feeling rather annoyed added on to my upset mood before.
Finally subject referred to called:
I talked to the phone. A non-living thing. Something I couldn’t see the facial expressions of. Nobody around me to share feelings with. A dead thing, that’s what a phone is.
“eh, how come u go down busstop already!”
“oh I went down busstop first alr”
“huh! That’s whats the purpose of us walking down tgt? And agreeing to go walk to busstop tgt?”
“Huh? I thought u said u going home? We also not same busstop (cant rembr what was really said, was too upset at the time)”
“omg, then why u even ask me to go down tgt!”
(In the phone) *hears ants voice in d bg*
Lw: “(cant hear what she say)….Why?”
I hung up! D: Sorry, lw D: I hung up because I couldn’t take listening anymore. I felt like although ive always been strong, I could faint at that moment. If I continued talking I would have hurt lw. really bad. i would have been sharp with my words. i cant control my tone if i was really in a badbadbadbad mood!
Don’t worry! Im not angry at you! but ah, next time please make up your mind whether u need me go with you anot k! still love you as usual~

~~~~
Despearately looked for a toilet, walked to locker room. Toilet LOCKED. Like LOCKERS. Tsk. Added on to my annoyed mood. Walked up and met cn. Wasted lots of time @ sch.
Thanks cn. Thanks a lot!:D really appreciate u and staying back w me!:D

Boarded bus, plugged in ipod, and leaned head to one side (something ive nvr done before if I was awake). Got shuai guys standing around me but heck! I didn’t care today! Just wanted to sleep! muahahahaha. sleep is my best friend

And when I left bus to walk home, I carried the really heavy weiqi set on one hand (my arm almost dislocated), and I felt, the weight in my heart has been transferred to the weiqi set, and now I am once again the happy me:D I might not be happy touching the set for some time, but I hope I can share the joy w people once again!:D

TO END OF HEHE JOKE OF THE DAY!!!!
What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common?
You always hear about them but never see them.

TOODLES MY FRIENDS!:D
LONGEST POST EVERRR WHOO~
TOMORROW WILL BE A BRIGHT BEUATIFUL DAY
:D
SUP2<3333333333333